http://cedarelk.tumblr.com/

untitled, 2013

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 08:50:00 -0400

untitled, 2013

With all the Christian Bashing I've been seeing lately I want to tell you all a few stories. . .

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:25:57 -0400

About one man, who was probably the driving influence that lead me to paganism.

Growing up I was a very very devote Catholic. I went to mass twice a week, prayed every night, observed a ton of saints days, I was even an altar server. When I was a server I worked mostly with our head priest, let’s call him Father Mike.

Father Mike was the only person that I told about the voices I heard and the things that I saw and felt when I prayed. I was nine when I first told him in confession, I had been terrified that there was something wrong with me, but Father Mike just listened to me. He didn’t tell me that I was crazy, or that I was possessed, when I said that I heard saints and angels, he believed me, and told me to practice listening to them. We talked about the man in brown with the deer and the birds, who I thought was St. Francis of Assisi, kept appearing in my dreams. We talked about how when I prayed I heard answers from voices that weren’t my own.

Father Mike was the person who told a ten year old me that I shouldn’t take Holy Orders and become a nun, because it would be a waste of my gift if the best I became was a Mother Superior. When questioned the Church and its teachings we talked it through. I felt that I couldn’t worship a god who let people say such things in his name, tell lies in his name. When I told him that I didn’t feel connected to God anymore Father Mike looked at me and said, “You have the light of the divine around you, but maybe not this divine.”

He was my mentor, and my friend, and then one day when I was 11 Father Mike stopped in the middle of his homily and said, “This is my last Sunday as a priest.” He was leaving the church, “I’ve fallen in love,” he said, “I know I will have eternity to love God, but I only have one life time to love this person. And I can’t stay in an organization that tells me that the love I feel is a sin. Because I love a man.”

I was serving at that mass, and as we cleaned up Father Mike took me aside and said, “I think it’s time for both of us to moved on. Remember you have the light around, you just need to find the source.”

brilliant story.

still chipping away at this poem, getting closer and closer to...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 23:24:57 -0400

still chipping away at this poem, getting closer and closer to what i’d like it to say. :)

Photo

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 23:11:45 -0400

manifest stretching out across red bridges sending out regular puffs of cherry smoke to the...

Sat, 15 Jun 2013 03:02:23 -0400

manifest

stretching out across red bridges
sending out regular puffs
of cherry smoke to the glittering city
observing visionary young men
with eyes locked and shining for the horizon
and bitter-bums bowing
blowing streams that sink through cedar
hands clasped in fervent prayer
and noses to the concrete

“Psilocybin Mental Hell” by Fiada Fey

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 08:04:55 -0400

“Psilocybin Mental Hell” by Fiada Fey

hagaykure: hagaykure: Swiggity swag the Emperor is in the...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 07:57:26 -0400

hagaykure:

hagaykure:

Swiggity swag the Emperor is in the bag

no stop reblogging this again

sexsister: This is accurate

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 07:57:14 -0400

sexsister:

This is accurate

gingerhaze: Thranduil Embarrasses His Kid By Showing Up To Pick Him Up On His Elk: Part 2

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 17:55:27 -0400

gingerhaze:

Thranduil Embarrasses His Kid By Showing Up To Pick Him Up On His Elk: Part 2

More on the smartness of the Hannibal meta: it's not pretentious if you're not pretending.

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 07:29:46 -0400

lokisgift:

professorfangirl:

(Sorry to keep ranting about the worth of people’s writing about Hannibal, but it’s touched a very big nerve for me.)

A thinky thinky person just wrote to me: “Haha, actually I just discovered Deleuze last spring through Jasbir Puar, but it was one of those things where I had already been trying to articulate a lot of the same ideas, so it just gave me a language to talk about them. That happens to me a lot. Now I’m kind of obsessed. But I feel shamefully pretentious bringing it up on Tumblr, because even in academia sometimes it’s pretentious.”

I fucking hate the word “pretentious.” Yes, a lot because it’s been used about me (defensive some), but also because it can be a way for people to put down thinking. And sometimes it can be a way for people to stop thinking. It can be a way for people to tell you not to take your thoughts seriously. But let me tell you a thing: it’s not pretentious if you’re not pretending. Sure, sometimes you can fail at a Big Thought, and some people use Fancy Thinkers as a way to cover their own ignorances. But if you’re using those thoughts and thinkers as tools for understanding, then it’s fucking legit. If you’re writing in good faith, if you’re thinking honestly and expressing it sincerely, if you’re not pretending, it’s not pretentious.

Here, lemme give you an example of a Fancy Thinker who says exactly what I mean, in his case about people self-conscious about studying The Matrix:

“The anxiety isn’t about the real, but about what our relationship to the fake should be. Another way of intitiating the same curiosity would be to ask why, exactly, superstar postmodernists like Slavoj Žižek come to devote themselves to speculating about a popular movie? Because they have been sent an invitation.”

Hannibal sends an invitation, a big glorious engraved invitation, to every viewer, an invitation to think. An invitation to reflect and respond and interpret, and better than that, an invitation to enjoy those thoughts, and other people’s thoughts, and the very act of thinking itself. Because that’s what the show’s about, right? Thinking, and interpreting, and figuring shit out. And I for one am gonna RSVP the fuck out of that.

oh my god YES.

SYD! This is what I was talking about! YES

plasticvines: re: Avril Lavigne - Here’s To Never Growing Up...

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 07:26:49 -0400

plasticvines:

re: Avril Lavigne - Here’s To Never Growing Up

LOL OKAY NO. You know what is actually embarassing?

1. People who use the phrase “only a true fan” like… what does that even mean? I’m pretty sure only the most true of Radiohead fans have Thom Yorke’s feces smeared across their bedroom walls. DO YOU HAVE HIS SHIT ON YOUR WALLS? Not a true fan, dude.

2. People who think that you can only enjoy one genre of music. I predominantly listen to post-hardcore, but I enjoy many genres, especially pop music. You know why? Because it’s fucking happy and uplifting and immediately accessible. I get stoked when musicians reference other bands. It’s like wow… they’re aware of the secret that you’re allowed to like more than one type of music too!

And by you wish that she stuck with her old ways, you would prefer her to keep writing about 16-year-old broken hearts instead of having tons of fun even though she’s now an adult? Fuck that noise. This song has been the closest to her “old ways” than she’s been in years. DID YOU SEE THE NECK-TIE AND SKATEBOARD?

Doesn’t sound like you respect her as an artist very music if you can’t respect her as a person who likes things.

This is plasticvines and she is AWESOME and has GOOD THOUGHTS on music and consuming music :)

just-the-bear-and-me00: Dr. Cox is my spirit animal.

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 17:42:44 -0400

just-the-bear-and-me00:

Dr. Cox is my spirit animal.

Woah, i got a featured #poetry post? Hello new followers, get ready for a super weird ride.

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:24:00 -0400

Woah, i got a featured #poetry post? Hello new followers, get ready for a super weird ride.

"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I..."

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 20:34:00 -0400

““I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.””

- Sylvia Plath (via lily9784)

Yes, I understand it all and yet none of it. Because I am not she and she is not me.
(via composingmaddie)

illluminautical: sometimes i feel like a plastic bag that can’t drift through the wind because my...

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 13:00:15 -0400

illluminautical:

sometimes i feel like a plastic bag that can’t drift through the wind because my bag is so full of mcdonalds

when i wear sunglasses i think i look p cool but it can’t really see very well i feel like...

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 11:55:10 -0400

when i wear sunglasses i think i look p cool
but it can’t really see very well

i feel like there’s some cool philosophical lesson behind this trade-off
but i can’t really figure anything out

Photo

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 20:01:23 -0400

sights upon the land / old spirit on this road i am feeling the restless drive of an old american...

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 19:46:00 -0400

sights upon the land / old spirit

on this road i am feeling the restless drive
of an old american spirit pushing us all on, towards a perfect nowhere
i am loving the low rumble and spit of this old earth turning as I turn with it tonight
i am holding this crazy fractured globe in the very palms of my hands
and shaping the curves and carved valleys of its histories with my own fragile tools
i have not yet met the restless spirit of this old northern continent
but i can feel cool breath upon the back of my neck
every time i set my nose out of doors and my sights upon the land

94/100

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 18:31:36 -0400

irlisdead:

In 1st grade this kinda fat kid named Nick reached the conclusion that every time you do something, it is always the first time you are doing that thing

He had braces & he said that even if you do something a second time, then it would be the First time you were doing it a Second time, & if you do that thing again, then it would be the First time you were doing it a Third time, & so on ad infinitum—get it?

He did not say “ad inifnitum”; he had freckles, was fat, bullied, but I think with wordplay he essentially proved to me that everything is new, all is flux, nothing is stationary, nothing endures but change

You couldn’t step twice into the Same River; for other waters are ever flowing on past you

You couldn’t refresh your browser & load the Same Page twice

fleurdulys: Druids Cutting the Mistletoe on the Sixth Day of...

Sun, 09 Jun 2013 01:54:53 -0400

fleurdulys:

Druids Cutting the Mistletoe on the Sixth Day of the Moon - Henri-Paul Motte

1900